i open myself one stitch at a time
by La Vi3 bOh3M3
Summary: Same story new title! Old title: Nowhere to Turn! When something horrible happens to an intern, where does she turn and what are the consequences? Features almost all the doctors, and an unexpected friendship. Read and review! Chapter 7 now up!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A really random idea I got when I read a chapter from someone's story, but don't worry, I'm not copying anyone! I hope. ;) Read and review! 

Summary: Something horrible happens to an intern. Who does she turn to and what are the consequences? Features almost all the doctors, and an unexpected friendship.

Rating: T, for now, but could go up to M in later chapters.

Disclaimer: It doesn't belong to me!

* * *

_Nowhere to Turn_

"Rounds, people, rounds." Dr. Bailey pushed her short little self through the open door to the locker room, and glared at each of her interns. "I don't have all day."

"Morning, Dr. Bailey." George called out.

"O'Malley," She nodded her head, acknowledging him. "Alright, Yang with Shepard, Grey with Torres, O'Malley you're with Burke, Stevens with Montgomery, and Karev you're in the pit today."

Alex groaned and rolled his eyes. "Seriously?' he muttered.

Bailey looked at him. "Did you say something, Karev?"

He shook his head fervently and followed the other interns out of the locker room. Izzie hung at the back, and took a deep breath. Meredith noticed this and put her hand on Izzie's shoulder.

"You alright?" She whispered.

Izzie flinched at her touch and shrunk back. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I have to go."

With that, she took off in the other direction to find Dr. Montgomery. Meredith shrugged in confusion and ran to catch up to the interns.

* * *

Flashback: 

"On the ground. Now." The big man in the black coat ordered her, his gun pointing at her chest.

Whimpering quietly, she dropped to the ground and shuddered as the man got on top of her, but not before removing his coat and pants.

Oh no. Oh god no. He's going to rape me. Her mind raced in complete terror and she shut her eyes.

Tears of fear and pain ran down her face and squeezed out of her tightly shut eyes. Her mind wandered to happier things and she thought that if maybe she thought of other things she could forget where she was and what was happening to her.

When he was done, he didn't leave until after he threatened to hurt her and her friends if she told anyone, and using her as a punching bag, he finally stalked off, leaving her to her tears and dirty clothes.

* * *

"Dr. Stevens!" Addison Montgomery called to her intern who seemed to be somewhere else as the moment. "What is the best treatment option for Ms. Milano, Dr. Stevens?" Addison eyed Izzie and couldn't help but notice the circles under her eyes, her limp posture, and the nervousness that seemed to surround her. 

Izzie looked up and blinked. "Sorry." She mumbled. "Um, she should probably have surgery to correct the injury to her fallopian tube."

"Correct." Dr. Montgomery nodded. "Ms. Milano, I'll be back in 15 minutes with consent forms and explain the procedure."

Izzie shot out of the exam room as soon as she was able and found herself in an on-call room. Luckily, she was alone. For the past 2 days she couldn't get the image of the man who raped her out of her head. She was having nightmares about him. Nightmares that he was raping her again, and beating her. She always woke in a cold sweat; near tears and wishing she could go back in time and reverse what had happened to her. The 'incident' had changed her that was for sure. She hadn't laughed in 2 days, let alone smile. All she did was wake, work, sleep, she didn't even eat. She wouldn't let anyone touch her, especially any males, including George. She just wished it had never happened, or that the man had killed her right then and there so she wouldn't have to suffer like this.

She had spent all morning working on the Milano case with Dr. Montgomery and now she had an hour and a half for lunch break. Instead of going down to join her friends though, she lay down on the small bed and closed her eyes, trying to sleep since she hadn't in 2 days.

* * *

"Have you guys seen Izzie since rounds, this morning?" Meredith asked. 

She, Cristina, George and Alex congregated around their usual spot in the hospital cafeteria, eating lunch.

George took a bite out of his sandwich and shook his head. "No, why?"

"It just looked like something was wrong this morning, and now I can't find her. But I'm sure she's fine." Meredith replied trying not the let the others know she was worried.  
"Okay. So I have a patient… male, 24 years old, unexplainable symptoms, and neither I nor Dr. Shepard can figure it out…" Cristina rambled on. The other interns listened to her speak, but Meredith's thoughts were elsewhere.

She was worried about Izzie. She noticed she hadn't eaten with them at lunch the past couple days or so. She always locked herself in her room at home, she never smiled anymore, and her general happy self was just gone.

Meredith wanted to talk to Izzie's attending or Dr. Bailey, but she wasn't sure if held the right. Technically, the two to them were friends, but she didn't want to overstep her boundaries. Maybe she could convince George to talk to Izzie or someone else who could help.

"Mer, what do you think? Could it be hydrocephalus?" Cristina tapped her fork on Meredith's forehead.

Meredith swatted the fork away and looked up. "Huh?"

"Where have you been?" Cristina shook her head. "Never mind. Go back to your daydreaming"

Meredith stood up. She was going to find Izzie.

* * *

35 minutes later, and after having been through almost all the on-call rooms on the surgical floor, Meredith raced back to Dr. Torres so she wouldn't be later than she already was. She was completely frustrated and worried about Izzie, now. She couldn't even find her, and apparently neither could her attending, Dr. Montgomery. 

"You're 20 minutes late." Callie glared at Meredith as she slammed the door behind her.

"I know, I'm sorry." Meredith started. "I couldn't find—"

"I don't care." Dr. Torres shushed her. "What is the best treatment option for Heel spur for Mr. Carline here?"

Switching into doctor mode immediately, Meredith answered quickly. "Injected corticosteroids and a heel strapping, would most likely work best."

"Correct." Callie muttered. "Dr. Grey, you're not needed anymore. Please wait for me outside."

Meredith swallowed and shrunk out the door. She was in trouble.

"Dr. Bailey, where in the hell is my intern?" Addison stormed up to Miranda Bailey who was filling out charts at the nurses' station. "I specifically wanted her assigned to me, today and now"

"Whoa." Dr. Bailey put up her hand. 'What do you mean? I thought I saw her with you earlier?"

"She was. She consulted with me on Ms. Milano's case and then ran off. I haven't seen her since then, and that was at 11:30 this morning. It's now 3. Lunch was only an hour and a half long, so where the heck is she?" Addison looked angry.

"Why is it always MY interns?!" Miranda growled and gestured for Addison to follow her.

They found a nurse to page her and there was nothing else to do, until Bailey spotted Meredith slinking by, looking suspicious.

"Grey!" She called out, "What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you with Dr. Torres?"

Meredith stopped in her tracks and looked at Addison and Miranda. "She kicked me out."

"She what? You what?" Bailey bellowed. 'What in God's name did you do?"

"I was half an hour late getting to her patient."

"Oh lord in heaven, Grey, how many times do I have to tell you? Punctuality is one of the most important aspects of being a surgeon. And I don't appreciate you—"

"Miranda! Dr. Stevens!" Addison touched Miranda's shoulder to remind her of the problem at hand.

"Oh yes." She stopped yelling at Meredith. "Have you seen Dr. Stevens lately?"

Meredith looked up, surprised. Maybe she wasn't the only one who noticed Izzie's absence. "Um, no, I was actually wondering if YOU had seen her. She hasn't been herself lately and I wanted to talk to her."

"No, she was supposed to be Dr. Montgomery's intern but she hasn't shown up."

"Have you checked all the on-call rooms?" Meredith questioned. "Because I did most of them on this floor, but I missed the few in the east wing."

"I'll do it." Addison grumbled, stalking off, Gucci heels clicking on the tile floor.

Meredith tried to slink off in the other direction but Bailey grabbed the sleeve of her shirt. "Not so fast, Grey, come with me. We're going to find Torres."

* * *

"Oh for crying out loud, damn it!" Addison ran a hand through her scarlet hair and sighed in frustration, pushing open the door to the last on-call room she had to search in. "Where is she?" She was frustrated that she had to be the one to find a missing intern. She had better things to do and Izzie Stevens wasn't a priority. 

When she opened the door she never expected to find what she did. There was Izzie, curled into a tight ball, bawling hysterically, but still sleeping it looked like. It appeared as if she was having a nightmare.

"No, please. No. Not again. I'll do anything. Just stop!" She cried out, thrashing in her sleep.

Alarmed, Addison sat down next to her and put her hand on Izzie's arm. Izzie lashed out and swatted her hand away, crying.

"Dr. Stevens!" Addison called into her ear. "Stevens! Relax! Wake up!"

Izzie's eyes shot open and the thrashing around stopped, but the tears continued to pour down her face. She whimpered and looked at Addison in fear.

"You need to relax, Stevens." Addison rubbed her arm. "You obviously had a nightmare, but it's over. You're awake. Just forget it."

Izzie began to quiet down, and she stood up. She didn't want an attending, especially Dr. Addison Montgomery, to see her this way. "Thanks." She whispered shakily and headed towards the door.

Addison looked up at her in surprise. That was it? She had obviously been dreaming of something horrible and now she was just going to leave without as much as an explanation for her absence for the past 3 hours. Addison didn't push it though. It wasn't her place to push. She would be sure to mention it to Dr. Grey or Dr. Bailey though.

Izzie wiped her face and turned the door knob.

"Wait." Addison called out. "You know, Stevens, even though I'm not O'Malley or Grey, I'm still here if you ever want to discuss anything, okay?"

Izzie nodded and bolted out the door.

* * *

A/N: Yay! Chapter one; now finished. I hope Addison, or anyone else for that matter, wasn't too OOC. I'm not even sure where this going exactly, yet, so let me know if you want anything incorporated into this story and I'll try and add it in where I can. Anyhoo, chapter two will be up as soon as I can write it. Please review! Thanks! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright, so this is my same old story "Nowhere to Turn," but just with a different title! The title is from the song 'Still Hurting' from the Broadway show L5Y. Sorry it took so long for me to post this, anyways, thanks so much for all the feedback from chapter one. Here's chapter two! Read on! 

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

* * *

"Dr. Bailey, can I have a word quickly?" Addison ran to catch the elevator that Dr. Bailey was standing in, before the doors closed.

Bailey sighed. 'What is it? Did you find Stevens?"

Addison nodded. "I did…" She stepped in and the elevator doors shut.

"And?" Bailey raised an eyebrow, confused at the red-heads reluctance to tell her what she had discovered.

"Well, she was in on-call room 2355, and she was apparently having a really bad nightmare because she was crying and screaming hysterically." Addison explained. 'I was quite un-Stevens- like, I must say. Something must really be wrong."

Bailey rolled her neck and sighed. "Look, Dr. Montgomery, I appreciate that you took the time to find her and all but I really don't have the time to deal with an intern plagued by nightmares. So unless she comes to me with a specific problem she can't handle on her own, I have patients to see."

The elevator doors opened on the 3rd floor and Dr. Bailey exited, leaving Addison standing there. Her desired destination was the locker room, to try find Izzie, or even O'Malley or Grey. Addison was surprised at her own concern for the intern she barely knew as more than that, an intern. But something about the way she looked when she woke up hysterical, spoke to Addison. She wanted to help if Izzie was willing. But she had a patient to see, so she begrudgingly pushed the button for the 5th floor and stepped back to wait.

* * *

Goal: don't sleep. Don't let the nightmares plague your existence anymore.

Izzie thought. Izzie paced. She paced in the NICU, where Dr. Montgomery had assigned her another case from days ago that she was only re-visiting now.

Ever since Addison had found her in the on-call room hours ago, Izzie had been avoiding her because she feared she would confront her about the changes in appearance, personality, and many unexplainable absences in the past few days. Izzie knew she would to tell someone soon and get tested for STD's and pregnancy, but she would to literally anyone before talking to the ex She- Shepard, and she hoped Addison realized she couldn't overstep her boundaries as her attending.

Izzie sat down in the chair next to the preemie she was supposed to be watching. She stuck her hand into the little incubator and let the baby grab her finger with her own tiny little fingers. Izzie checked the name on the side. It read: Mia Grace Phillips. The little girl was beautiful, with big grey eyes and small tufts of dark hair. She had a heart condition though, and Dr. Burke was on her case, as well as Dr. Montgomery. She had a 60 of survival, and coming in to watch her had been the only thing keeping Izzie from spiraling into a downward irreversible hole the past day or so. Watching the child kept Izzie's mind off things for the most part and allowed her to care for the baby while the mother recovered from her cesarean section.

Izzie smiled at the baby as she gurgled and formed small bubbles with her tongue. "Hiii baby girl." She cooed, "You're so beautiful, little Mia, yes you are! I wish I could have a baby as cute as you!"

She stopped and her heart raced as she remembered she still hadn't gotten tested for pregnancy. So maybe she would have a baby like Mia if she didn't do something soon enough.

"You know, Mia, I might actually have a baby like you soon." Izzie explained to the child, who was obviously not listening. It just felt good to let it out to someone. Even if that someone was a helpless, premature baby. "I never asked for it though. A man hurt me. He hurt me badly and now I'm broken and you seem to be the only one I can talk to."

Tears rolled down Izzie's cheeks. It was so painful, even to just mention the 'incident' like this, without any detail.

Mia's eyes slowly drifted shut and her grip on Izzie's finger fell limp.

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Izzie willed herself to stop crying. If anyone walked in and saw her sitting next to the baby and bawling hysterically, there could be a problem.

Breathing in a shaky breath, Izzie wiped her face again and pulled her hand from the small incubator. She stood up and left the NICU.

* * *

Next day

"Shit." Izzie sat upright and breathed heavily.

She had fallen asleep in the on-call room again for the 3rd time in two days, and was once again late for her shift with Dr. Shepard. And the nightmare had come back. Strangely now, though, she woke up feeling calm and never crying. It was like she was used to it. And that terrified her. She wasn't prepared to live with the nightmares all her life. She had to tell someone. She just didn't know who.

She jumped off the bed and smoothed down her scrubs before running out the door.

* * *

George raced down to the locker room and almost bumped into numerous doctors on the way. He was going to try and catch Izzie before she left for the night. He was sick of her withdrawal and her failure to talk to him. He was going to find out what was wrong with her.

He entered the locker room to find Cristina and Meredith in hushed conversation near their lockers, Alex changing into his street clothes, and Izzie sitting with her head in her hands on a bench at the back.

He strode up to her with purpose and sat down next to her.

"Iz, we need to talk." He put his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up. Eyes bloodshot and hair a mess, she spoke. "What?" She snapped.

George recoiled. "Easy, Iz. I just want to know what's wrong."

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Don't lie to me." He whispered. "We've all noticed it. You haven't been the same since 4 days ago. What's going on?"

"Well, that's not true. There's nothing going on. And even if there was, what makes you think I would tell you?"

George looked hurt. "We're best friends, Izzie."

"You know George," She replied, icily, "I don't always have to tell you EVERYTHING. Her voice began to rise and the other interns looked up from what they were doing, curious as to what the ruckus was about.

"Izzie, please. Keep your voice down."

"NO!" She screamed, standing up. "George, leave me the HELL alone! If I wanted your damn help I would ask for it."

Meredith took a step towards Izzie and reached her hand out. "Izzie..."

Izzie jumped back and glared at each of them. 'Everyone just stop! Stop acting as if I'm a child. If I wanted your freaking help I would ask!"

And with that, she snatched her bag from her open locker door and rushed out the door, leaving George with his jaw almost on the floor and Meredith with wide eyes.

"What in the hell bit her in the ass?" Alex's voice cut through the awkward silence.

* * *

Next day

"…Stevens, you're with Dr. Montgomery." Dr. Bailey finished the assignments and left the locker room.  
Izzie sighed inwardly. Again, with Dr. Montgomery?

Ever since Izzie's outburst the day before, the other interns had avoided her completely, tiptoeing around her and speaking in hushed tones.

Once she left to go find Dr. Montgomery, George pulled his friends into a circle to discuss the situation.

"Look, we all obviously know there's something seriously wrong with her…" He started.

"We can't overstep our boundaries, Bambi." Cristina interjected eager to get away from the group and start her day with a surgery.

George rolled his eyes. "Well I sure can. She's my best friend. And she's clearly in trouble. I think we should help her."

"I agree, George." Meredith spoke up. "I noticed this a couple days ago. Dr. Bailey and even Dr. Montgomery are aware of it, as well. And I just don't know what we could do. And I feel bad for teaming up on her like this. If she wanted to talk to anyone, she would."

George bit his lip and resisted the urge to say something to Cristina and Alex who were 'quietly' slinking out the door, unnoticed, or apparently they thought.

"Mer, please. She's in trouble. I know it. We need to help her." George was almost pleading.

Meredith thought quickly. "Look, can we talk about this later? Bailey will have our heads if we don't get to work."

George sighed, but followed Meredith out the door anyway.

* * *

A/N: Alright, chapter two…finished! Like I said before, if you guys want anything incorporated into the next few chapters or so, let me know! Please review if you read. Any kind of criticism is welcome, whether it's about chapter length, OOC characters, bad plot…whatever. Thanks again for reading and chapter three will be up ASAP! 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So I was actually shocked and VERY disappointed that I got such a great response for the first chapter and not ONE review for the second! Anyway, here's chapter three. The only reason I'm putting this up is because I was bored. Ya'll don't deserve another chapter till I get some feedback! So yeah, read and review, PLEASE! 

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Izzie was back in Mia's room again. No one else visited the newborn, not even her single mom. She was on bed rest and baby Mia couldn't be moved from the incubator or room she was in.

Dr. Montgomery didn't know Izzie was spending so much time with the child, and if she did, she would probably get chastised for getting too close to her patient again, and Izzie couldn't handle that. She often snuck into her room when Dr. Montgomery was on a break, like she currently was.

Baby Mia was doing better; her heart condition was improving, while Izzie was doing worse. She walked around like a robot and didn't speak to anyone except her attending. She went straight home after her shifts and locked herself in her room. The memory of the rape was literally eating her from the inside out. She had to tell someone, but she was afraid. Afraid of their reaction, afraid that they would find her disgusting after she told them.

Mia squirmed and opened her eyes, looking up at Izzie. Izzie smiled down at her. One of her only smiles in 5 days.

"Hiii sweetie." Izzie cooed down at the girl. "How are ya doing today? Dr. Montgomery says you're doing much better and hopefully you'll be able to come out of that little box soon!"

Of course the baby couldn't respond, but Izzie just enjoyed sitting with her and talking to her; watching her get better as each day passed.

Izzie reached in and grabbed Mia's tiny hand and rubbed it softly. She laid her head on the incubator and didn't fight the sleep that was slowly overcoming her.

* * *

"Suction." Dr. Bailey commanded, palm open.

George reached for the supplies on the surgical tray next to him and handed Bailey the suction.

Dr. Bailey was performing surgery on her patient and George was clearly scrubbing in.

He had wanted to say something to her about Izzie since they started, but he couldn't find the right time.

"Izzie's in trouble." He blurted out.

Dr. Bailey stopped what she was doing and looked up at George.

"O'Malley? What do you mean?"

"Izzie's in trouble." He repeated.

"What does that mean, O'Malley?" Bailey demanded, turning back to her patient.

"Have you not noticed the past week or so? She's been completely robotic and yesterday in the locker room she had an outburst in front of everyone."

Bailey nodded and bit her lip. "I have, in fact, noticed, and you haven't been the only one who's mentioned it to me."

"Good! So that means you can do—"

"Quiet O'Malley!" Dr. Bailey waved a hand. "Let me finish. I just don't know how to proceed. Like I said to Dr. Montgomery, unless she comes to me with a problem it's really overstepping my boundaries if I push her to tell me."

George nodded, sadly. He was losing his best friend, he could feel it, and there was nothing they could do. "Please, Dr. Bailey. There's really something wrong and she's spiraling downward. If she doesn't get help soon, I'm worried what she's going to do."

Dr. Bailey sighed in frustration. "Try to talk to her, and then come and report back to me. We'll go from there. I just don't want to get Sydney Herron involved yet, because I know Steven's hates her."

George nodded, slightly relieved that Dr. Bailey was going to help them. He looked down and worked to continue the surgery.

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Dr. Addison Montgomery pulled her mask over her mouth and ran into NICU room 3439. "What the hell happened?" She demanded.

Dr. Burke was already there, bending over the small incubator, and Dr. Stevens stood fearfully towards the back.

Addison looked over at Izzie and shook her head. She didn't have time to yell at an incompetent intern. She had a life to save.

She pulled her stethoscope from around her neck and pressed it to the child's chest.

"Damn it, Dr. Burke, she's not breathing."

As calm as possible, Preston grabbed hold of the incubator and started wheeling it out the door. "O.R 4 is open. She needs surgery now."

Addison started to sprint out the door, but she quickly turned around to face Izzie, who now had tears falling down her face.

Confused as to why she was crying, Addison yelled to her. "Stevens! Let's go! You have 5 seconds to follow me or Karev will be scrubbing in!"

Izzie backed away slowly and dropped her body into a chair. Dr. Montgomery growled in frustration, spun back around, and bolted out the door to scrub in on the hopefully life- saving surgery.

* * *

"She was doing better." Izzie whispered, head in her hands.

Dr. Montgomery pulled her scrub smock off and tossed it into the trash can in NICU room 3439. "I know. But we lose patients all the time, Stevens. This shouldn't be any different."

"Well it was." Izzie snapped at her. "What in the hell happened to her?"

"Dr. Burke says a blood clot went to her heart and killed her instantly."

Izzie slumped over and turned her head so Dr. Montgomery wouldn't see the tears pouring down her face. No one knew that Izzie had a special bond with baby Mia and Izzie didn't need anyone knowing.

"Hey, Stevens, you know I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately…"

Izzie looked up. "Please. Don't."

"Just let me finish." The red head replied. "We've all noticed it, and now it's starting to affect your work. Your friends are worried about you, and quite frankly, even though we're not exactly friends, so am I."

Izzie sniffled and hugged herself tightly.

"And I just wanted to remind you that if you wanted to talk, I'm here. I'm actually really good at keeping secrets, unlike your friends." Addison smiled, trying to make light of the situation.

"Raped, Addison. I was raped." Izzie blurted, this being the first time she used Dr. Montgomery's first name, and stood up in a hurry.

Addison put a hand on Izzie's arm and tried to get her to sit back down.

"Oh, Stevens, I'm so, so sorry. Are you ok?"

"What do you think?" Izzie snapped, still refusing to sit.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Addison lamented. "But, please sit, Izzie. I'm glad you've told me. It seemed to be eating you up and I can help you. I've dealt with things like this before."

Tears welled up in Izzie's soft brown eyes and she plopped down in the chair next to Addison, as if she were too weak to stand.

"I just didn't know where to turn."

Throat choked up, Izzie finally let the tears fall freely.

Addison's heart went out to the young girl and she didn't know how to comfort her without making it awkward.

"Is this overstepping my boundaries?" Addison put an arm around Izzie's shoulder and tried to make her smile.

Izzie grinned through her tears. "No."

Just by Izzie telling her what happened, it instantly created a small bond between the two women.

Izzie pulled away from Addison and looked at her gratefully. "Thank you for listening and not running away from me, disgusted."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm a gynecologist. I deal with things like this every day." Addison said. "But have you been tested?"

Izzie shook her head. "No. I couldn't have been without anyone knowing."

"How long ago was the...the rape?" Addison softly questioned.

Izzie swallowed. "5 days ago."

Addison stood up in a hurry. "You need to get tested, NOW. Let's go."

Izzie shook her head vehemently and rooted her feet to the ground. "No. No one else can know."

"Izzie. You have to. No one else will know. I can do the tests myself"

Izzie closed her eyes as if in thought. "Fine." She agreed. "But if you tell anyone--"

"I won't." Addison cut her off. "Now let's go."

Addison held out her hand for Izzie to take. Izzie's eyes welled up with tears again as she saw the small act of friendship Addison was committing herself to do.

She stood up. "Thank you, Dr. Montgomery, really."

"Thank YOU for trusting me enough to tell me."

Now on a first name bases, the two women made their way to an exam room, Addison swearing to help the young intern as best as she could.

* * *

A/N: Yay! Izzie finally told! Now she can begin healing and moving on from the rape. Did you guys expect it would be Addison she told? Anyways, expect them to get closer in the next few chapters, and expect some drama soon! Let me know if any character was too OOC! Review is you read, please, unlike last chapter where I got no reviews. :( Next chapter to be up as soon as it's written! Thanks for reading! 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yay, thanks everyone who reviewed! And thanks to the person who corrected my mistake about the story title. It IS from the song 'Goodbye until Tomorrow," rather than 'Still Hurting' which is what I said it was! Thanks again for the reviews and all the corrections. Here is chapter 4! Btw, sorry this has taken so long to get put up!

Disclaimer: Still not mine, no matter how much I wish it was. ;)

* * *

"Alright, Stevens," Addison said as she shut the exam room door behind her. "Let's get this started. I'll need you to change into this," she handed her a hospital gown from a drawer behind her. "I'll wait outside." Addison smiled warmly at Izzie and slipped out the door.

In the short 3 minutes it had taken for the two women to get in an elevator, ride to the 4th floor, and find an empty exam room, Izzie had stopped crying, much to her own delight. She still hadn't told Addison what had happened exactly, but Addison was sure it would come out once Izzie felt completely comfortable and trustful of her.

Addison returned to the room and found Izzie sitting on the small exam bed, wringing her hands nervously.

"Heyyy, relax. This is barely going to hurt. You've been under my service long enough, you should know that!"

Izzie tried to manage a tight smile. "I'm not afraid of the pain, Dr. Montgomery, I'm afraid of the future."

Addison patted her arm. "Are you sure you don't want anyone in here, to hold your hand or something?

Izzie's eyes went wide and she shook her head. "No. Please. I can't have anyone knowing."

"Ok, ok. I understand. Let's begin then."

Izzie closed her eyes and winced as Addison drew her blood and performed various other tests.

And suddenly. She was angry. Angry at the son of a bitch that raped her. It he had just stayed away, she wouldn't be in pain right now, uncertain and afraid of the future. She was tempted to rip the needle out of her arm and run. Run and run, away from her life, away from her painful past.

"All done." Addison announced, removing the needle. "You can get dressed now, and I'll send these to the lab and put a rush order on them."

Holding back tears for about the 5th time that day, Izzie grabbed hold of Addison's hands, pulling her back. "Thank you. Really, thank you, Addison."

Addison smiled. "Anytime, Stevens, anytime." Before shutting the door behind her, she called back to Izzie. "If you ever need anything, or just want to talk, page me."

* * *

With finally a moment to herself since the unfortunate death of baby Mia, hours ago, and trying to help Izzie, Addison dropped the labs off and went down to the cafeteria to think and get some food to keep her strength.

She spotted Bailey's interns at their usual table, and she walked off in the other direction to avoid them. They all knew she was Izzie's attending that day, and seeing as though Izzie was currently getting dressed and having a moment alone, Addison didn't need the gossipy interns questioning her about something she wasn't allowed to divulge.

She grabbed a tuna sandwich from the lunch cart, paid, and sat down next to Callie, who looked up from the medical paper she was reading.

"Manhattan." Callie acknowledged Addison with a slight nod of her head and returned to her paper.

Addison unwrapped the sandwich and took a small bite. Her mind wandered to her hectic day. She thought of the innocent child she and Dr. Burke had lost, and she thought of poor Izzie Stevens. Addison was extremely glad Izzie had told her, though, because if she hadn't, she would have most definitely broken down and completely lost it. Hopefully after a couple days of building their relationship, Addison could convince Izzie to speak with Sydney, to get professional help and counseling.

Luckily, Izzie was about the 6th rape victim Addison had dealt with during her time at Seattle Grace. And she knew the protocol. She would have to eventually give the police a statement. The poor girl was about to unknowingly go through so much pain and reliving of the horrible attack.

Suddenly Callie was waving her medical journal in Addison's face. "Hey! Addison, where ya been?"

Addison looked up, blinked and took another bite of the tuna sandwich. "Whoa, sorry, Callie."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Yeah. I've just got some stuff on my mind, is all."

"You wanna talk about it?" Callie questioned.

"I can't, I wish I could, but the information isn't mine to share. Sorry." Addison apologized. 'I have to run, though. I'll see you later, okay? Maybe at Joe's?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I'll see ya later." Callie responded, absentmindedly, and returned to the salad she was eating and the papers she was reading.

Addison picked up her lunch and stalked off to check if Izzie's test results were ready yet.

* * *

"Hey, could you please page Dr. Stevens and tell her to come to on call room 2344, ASAP?" Addison distractedly asked the Nurse that was on call at the Nurse's station.

She heard the Nurse's agree to page her, and she walked off, reading the test results.

Apparently Izzie was anxious because by the time Addison reached the on-call room, Izzie was pacing around the room nervously. She jumped when Addison slammed the door behind her.

"Dr. Montgomery." Izzie nodded her head in acknowledgment of the older woman.

"Izzie, you should probably sit down—"

"Are those my test results?" Izzie interjected.

"They are." Addison whispered. "I won't make you wait. You're not pregnant and you tested negative for all STD's." She stated simply.

Izzie signed and dropped her head in her hands. "Oh thank god." After a moment she looked up and smiled at Addison. "Thank you for doing this."

Addison smiled back warmly. "Anytime, Dr. Stevens."

"Well…I'd better be going." Izzie said awkwardly.

"Of course. I'll see you later." Addison held the door open for Izzie, and exited in the other direction.

* * *

Izzie unlocked the door to Meredith's house and entered the empty foyer. "Anyone home?" She called out. No reply. George and Meredith must have still been at work.

She was grateful that she was alone. Since telling Addison earlier that day she automatically felt a weight had been lifted from her chest, but of course she wasn't completely okay. It would take time, and talking through it. Izzie was hoping maybe Addison would help her. Izzie didn't want to tell anyone else.

She trudged up the staircase to her room and plopped down on the bed, not bothering to turn the light on. She instantly regretted that choice; she jumped up to flick the switch. She didn't like being in the dark after the rape. It frightened her.

She looked up at the ceiling and followed the eerie shadows creeping across the beige walls. She shuddered. The ticking clock in the hall made her nervous. Before, she was grateful that she was home alone, so no one could press her with questions and pressure her to open up. But now she wasn't so sure.

She grabbed her cell phone out of her purse and scrolled through the contacts. She needed to hear another person's voice.

She pressed talk when she found the number she was looking for and nervously waited through the ringing on the other end. After 6 rings, the voicemail service picked up.

"You've reached Dr. Addison Montgomery." Addison's familiar voice on the other end. "Leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I can. Thanks, bye."

Quickly debating whether or not to leave a message, Izzie decided she would.

"Dr. Montgomery, its Izzie. I don't really know why I called; let alone why I'm leaving a message. But…" My voice faltered. "I'm home alone and I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who knew. So…you don't have to call me back or anything, but I'll…I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." Izzie hung up and slapped her forehead.

She chastised herself for sounding like such an idiot. Addison wouldn't want to be bothered by a troubled intern, anyways.

Izzie lay back in her bed and bit her lip. She looked at her clock. 11:56 p.m.

_How strange._ She thought. That was around the time she been raped 5 days ago. She didnt like remembering that specific time, but it never left her thoughts.

She had been trying to forget it, and now with her luck she was reminded of it again, just simply by looking at her clock.

"Damn it, I need help." She thought out loud, frustrated.

Izzie pulled back her covers and got underneath them. She pulled them up to her chin, and quickly stuck her arm out to switch off her lamp. She retracted her arm quickly, in abnormal fear. Sighing, she shut her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

11:55 p.m.

Dr. Addison Montgomery stood back and watched as Dr's Derek Shepard, Preston Burke, and Miranda Bailey wheeled a Mr. Nicholas Baker into O.R 2 with injuries to his skull and other various areas of his battered body.

Addison didn't pay much attention to him, but she couldn't help but flinch when he looked at her. He gave her the creeps and she didn't know why.

* * *

A/N: So there it is. Once again, sorry it took so long to put up, but I hope you enjoyed it. I will be progressing Addison and Izzie's relationship more as the story goes, and hopefully now you guys will see the plot start to form. Please review, with any sort of feedback. Thanks! 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed…chapters will be coming up much faster now that the plot is beginning to develop. As always, read and review!

Disclaimer: All belongs to Shonda.

* * *

Meredith dropped her coat on the nearest couch and stepped farther into the quiet house. George was spending the night with Callie but Izzie was supposed to be home. Meredith had seen her car parked out front and her keys on the table.

She turned on a couple lights to illuminate the dark house and trooped up the stairs quietly. She walked down the hallway towards Izzie's door. The door was closed. Meredith decided it would be best to check on her.

She didn't knock, but she silently turned the knob and opened the door enough to get half her small frame through it. She saw Izzie on her bed, asleep, clutching her blankets up to her chin. She looked to be in a peaceful sleep and Meredith didn't want to wake her. It was odd, this was the first peaceful moment Meredith had seen Izzie having in the last 5 days.

Meredith entered the room all the way and sat down gently on the bed. She pushed Izzie's hair away from her face in a sisterly way and smiled at her, even though she knew Izzie couldn't see. Meredith was worried about her, and she had yet to talk to Izzie since she agreed to help George 2 days ago. But now was of course not the time.

"Night, Iz." Meredith whispered and stood up.

Just as she was about to close the door behind her, a small voice called her name. "Mer is that you?"

Meredith spun around and saw Izzie sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes. 'What time is it?"

Meredith glanced the clock next to Izzie's bed, wondering why she didn't just check herself. "It's 1:30 in the morning. I just got home."

"Why were you in my room?" Izzie questioned bluntly.

Meredith came back into the room, switching on the lamp as she did. "I just wanted to check on you. See if you were okay."

"Oh." Izzie fell silent.

Meredith sat next to Izzie and grabbed her hand. "Look, I know I'm not the first person to ask, but seriously, Izzie, are you okay? You're really worrying us."

Izzie retracted her hand and smiled sardonically. "I'm fine." A fake chirp.

_Interesting…_Meredith thought. A couple hours ago if Izzie had been asked the same question, she would have snapped and yelled at Meredith, now she was all fake and happy sounding.

Meredith didn't press the issue though. She stood up. "Seriously, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. You know that. But you should get some sleep."

Meredith left the room before Izzie could respond.

* * *

"He has bleeding in his temporal lobe, and lack of oxygen to his brain is making him lose consciousness." Dr. Shepard stated.

"Mr. Baker can you hear me?" Dr. Burke asked close to the patients face.

His eyes fluttered closed and incoherent mumbles spilled out of his mouth.

"He needs surgery for his shattered pelvic bone as well, Dr's." Dr. Bailey added.

"Let's begin, then. Page Dr. Torres and Dr. Montgomery. We might need the extra hands." Dr. Shepard replied, holding a scalpel above the patients head. "Do we know how he sustained these injuries?"

"Paramedics said he was found at the sight of a car crash near Capitol Hill." Dr. Bailey responded.

"Was he driving?"

"We don't know."

"Okay, we'll find out later. Let's begin."

* * *

After a well deserved sleep after 5 days of not sleeping, Izzie returned to Seattle Grace the next morning, hoping to catch Addison before her first group of rounds.

She spotted the red-head at the nurse's station, filling out patient paper work.

"Dr. Montgomery!" Izzie called out.

Addison lifted her head and pulled off her glasses. "Dr. Stevens." She greeted the intern. "Good morning...I hope? How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. I was wondering if you had a free moment later on when we could possibly meet for lunch." Izzie wrung her hands nervously. She hoped Addison didn't think it was too much.

Addison scrunched her nose in thought. "I think I have an hour free around 12. I'll meet you in the cafeteria?"

"See you then." Izzie spun on her heel, now in search of Dr. Bailey so she wouldn't late for rounds.

* * *

Addison surveyed the busy outdoor cafeteria, looking for a tall blonde head. She spotted Izzie a couple tables away from her other intern friends.

Addison strode over and put her stuff down. Izzie looked up.

"Dr. Montgomery, hi."

"How are you, Dr. Stevens?" Addison sat down.

"I'm fine, thanks, how are you?"

"Was there any specific reason you wanted to meet for lunch?" Addison jumped right to the point. "Because I got your message last night…and—"

"No." Izzie interjected. "I just wanted to spend time with someone who knew what happened, and not have to hide things around anyone."

"Ahh." Addison nodded in understanding.

The two women carried on a normal conversation for the next 15 minutes, keeping away from the subject of Izzie's rape, until Addison had to ask.

"Stevens…" Addison began, treading on light ground. "I've noticed you're change in demeanor since you told me…we hadn't talked about anything specific so I was wondering how this miraculous change in personality came about?"

Izzie was taken aback by Addison's straight forward question.

"Well uh...I'm just glad I could get it off my chest. Sure, I'm going to need help. Those nightmares come back every so often, and I can never forget certain details of that night, but just by telling someone I felt…cleaner in some weird, Izzie, twisted sort of way."

Addison bit her lip and studied the pretty blonde interns face. "I know we aren't that close, and I know it may be difficult, but if you'd ever want to discuss anything in more detail I wouldn't run in fear or disgust, you know." Addison said. "I only say this because you seem reluctant to talk more about it. But I know from the patients I've had, that if you aren't going to talk to a therapist, then talking to anyone who will listen is best. And I will listen."

Addison smiled at her and Izzie pushed a small smile in return. "I can talk to Sydney Herron if you'd like and have her come find you later." Addison started

"Oh god no." Izzie began, stopping Addison from continuing. "I hate that woman more than anything. I'd rather talk a wall for hours than her."

Addison laughed. "Okay, I understand. Just remember, I'm here."

Izzie took a chance and covered Addison's hand with her own. Addison didn't pull away. "Thank you." She whispered.

* * *

"Holy sweet mother of god, Blondie has her hand on Satan's. Somebody get me a defibrillator." Cristina hissed.

"Seriously, Cristina? Shut up. You are SO loud right now." Meredith scolded her.

Alex was still an in emergency C- section, so George, Meredith, and Cristina sat at their usual table, gawking at the unusual sight of Izzie talking to Addison almost secretly, a table away.

"No, seriously, Mer. What is going on?" Cristina questioned.

"Okay well we obviously know Izzie has a problem. Maybe she's chosen to talk to Addison about it." George stated.

"Why Addison?" Cristina raised an eyebrow. "That's just weird. Why wouldn't she talk to George?"

"Look we don't know." Meredith sighed. "Forget it."

"Whatever." Cristina rolled her eyes. "Who jumped up and bit you on the ass anyways, Meredith?"

Meredith didn't respond. She stood up, frustrated, and exited the cafeteria. She didn't want to deal with Cristina and her attitude, when she knew something was seriously wrong with Izzie.

* * *

Meredith bit her lip and looked up over the chart she was filling out. She studied Dr. Montgomery's face, contemplating whether she should ask about Izzie or not. It was clear that Addison knew what the problem was. Meredith decided she might as well. There was no hurt in trying.

"Dr. Montgomery?" Meredith started.

Addison lifted her glasses off her nose and looked at Meredith. "What is it Dr. Grey?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you something…"

"If you're going to ask me about Izzie, then please. Spare us both the awkward moment and don't ask." Addison replied. "Yes, she told me what's going on, but if she isn't going to tell you or George or anyone else who wants to know, herself, then I can't divulge that information either."

Meredith's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed in minor shock. So Izzie had told Addison. How interesting.

"Just tell me one thing." Meredith begged quietly. "Is she okay?"

Addison wasn't sure how to answer. "Look, I know you're concerned and I'm sure Dr. Stevens appreciates that, but all I can say is that she's on her way to being okay."

Meredith wanted to scream in frustration. Could Addison be any more cryptic?

"Dr. Grey, I would appreciate it if you would get back to filling out those charts for my patient." Addison lowered her glasses and shifted her attention away from the intern.

A beeping went off somewhere in Addison's scrubs and she put down the clipboard she was studying to fish through her pockets to find it. She peered at the screen and saw that the Dr's Burke and Shepard needed an extra hand for the Baker surgery.

A second later Meredith's pager went off as well. Addison didn't need to guess that it was the same page, seeing as Meredith was her intern for the day.

"Dr. Montgomery, I have to—"

"Me too. Let's go." Addison interjected. She took off down the hallway, towards the elevators, Meredith close at her heel.

* * *

A/N: That was a fun chapter to write. So please review if you read, cause I love reviews. I really do…;) Thanks for reading! Next chapter to be up ASAP! 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Gah, okay, I'm sorry this has taken so long to get up. I hope I still have faithful readers and fans out there who still like this story. Also, I'm not exactly sure what the protocol would be following a rape, so this is just what I know from Law & Order: SVU, so sorry if its not exactly correct. Anyway, read on. Read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone except Nicholas Baker.

Warning: This contains non graphic re- accounting of a rape.

* * *

Addison shut off the water in the scrub sink, followed directly by Meredith. The two women entered the O.R. 

"Dr's. Where are we?" Addison questioned.

Derek looked up and motioned for Addison and Meredith to come over.

"This is Mr. Baker's second surgery. We need your help to repair his broken pelvis." He looked at Addison and then turned to Meredith. "Dr. Grey I need your help relieving the pressure to this brain."

The two women got to work and all was silent in the O.R until Addison gasped.

"What is it?" Dr. Burke demanded.

"I just opened him up to repair the pelvis, but it looks as if one of his organs burst, ruptured, and leaked into his lower body. I can't tell which one it is though."

"Page the other interns. We need more hands on deck." Dr. Burke surveyed the damage.

Addison held off on the pelvic surgery until minutes later when O'Malley, Yang, and Stevens burst into the O.R., ready to work.

"What do you have?" Cristina questioned.

"Yang, you and Stevens get to work on Mr. Baker's ruptured organ with Dr. Montgomery. It's an unknown, so it's your jobs to figure out what it is, and to repair it quickly. O'Malley join me over here…"

Izzie tuned the rest of what Dr. Burke was saying out and stopped for a moment when she heard the name Baker. It sounded familiar but she couldn't for the life of her, figure it out.

Pushing it out of her mind, she joined Cristina and Addison at the foot of the patient.

The surgeons bantered mindlessly while working over the patient until an erractic beeping caused them to look up in surprise.

"He's coding." A nurse stated.

"Stevens, paddles!" Burke shouted.

Izzie dropped the suction she was holding and raced over to where the paddles were.

"Charge, 100."

"Charged."

Izzie placed the paddles onto the man's chest and felt the electricity pass through the equipment and into his chest, shocking him.

"Charge to 200." She commanded, holding the paddles away from him.

"Charged." Again.

The erratic beeping slowed to a calm, regular beat and Izzie stepped back. She had saved him.

The other surgeons stepped back in and took Izzie's place where she was standing. As she moved to place the paddles back she caught a glimpse of the patients face and she gasped, dropping the paddles.

"Oh my god." She cried, stepping farther backwards, crashing into various medical carts while doing so.

Addison and the others looked up.

"It's him." She whispered, but loud enough for the group to hear.

Addison knew. She put down the scalpel she was holding and ran to Izzie to guide her out of the room.

"Dr. Stevens! What in the world is going on?" Dr. Burke questioned, looking bothered by the commotion the apparently incompetent intern had caused.

"Leave her be, I've got it. Yang take my place." Addison put her arm around Izzie and slowly guided the sobbing girl out of the O.R.

George and Meredith looked on with worried eyes as Addison opened the door and followed Izzie out. She had reached breaking point.

* * *

"Izzie, you're going to be fine." Addison insisted. 

After Addison had pulled Izzie out of the O.R, she had brought her to one of the empty rooms in Dr. Bailey's clinic.

Izzie was now seated on a bed, curling into her small frame, sobbing pathetically. Nothing Addison could say would calm her down. The tears poured down her cheeks and she tried to breathe, but she couldn't grasp a full breath and she was starting to hyperventilate.

"He's in surgery now, he can't hurt you."

"That's him, Addison, he's here. I'm scared." Izzie managed to spit out a reply, but it didn't seem as if she was listening to Addison's words.

"I know, I know you're scared but you have to understand he will never hurt you again."

Addison's eyebrows knit together in worry, as she watched Izzie. She was obviously terrified and very traumatized.

"Just let it out." Addison slowly got on the bed, next to Izzie, and put an arm around her. "Um...just cry if you need to." She didn't know what to say.

Usually when a rape victim came to Addison she referred her to Sydney Herron and then to the police, but Izzie was clearly very much against speaking to Sydney Herron.

Addison looked down in surprise, when Izzie grabbed her hand for dear life, and leaned into Addison.

"Izzie, I'm going to go get George or Meredith, stay here." She started to stand.

"No!" Izzie clutched her hand. "Please, p-p-please Dr. Montgomery. Don't l-l-l-leave me alone." She stuttered, through her tears.

"Whoa, okay. I'll stay." She got back on the bed, and put her arm back around Izzie. "Just try to go to sleep or something."

Izzie tried to quiet her crying and eventually, to the gentle rubbing of small circles in her back by Addison, she fell into a fitful sleep.

"Addison! Dr. Stevens!" Dr. Bailey pulled back the curtain to where Izzie was sleeping in Addison's arms.

"Shhh!" Addison put a finger to her lips. "She just fell asleep."

"Well this is an unusual sight." Dr. Bailey raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Burke paged me and said Stevens went ballistic in the O.R and that you left with her. What happened?"

Addison sighed and gently moved her arms from around Izzie's frame and stood up. She glanced back and saw Izzie remained asleep.

"Miranda, I can't tell you." Addison winced when she saw Bailey's mouth form into an O shape.

"Excuse me, Dr. Montgomery? Stevens is my intern; I have every right to know what caused her to run out of Dr. Preston Burke's O.R in hysterics."

"I do realize that you have every right to know what's wrong, but I think this situation falls under doctor- patient confidentiality. Izzie told me in confidentiality, and I can't break that trust."

Bailey studied Addison's face. "Doctor patient confidentially, huh? So that means she must have been hurt? And this is medical related?"

Addison shook her head. "I'm sorry Dr. Bailey, I really am. But I can't tell you."

"Dr. Montgomery, you will tell me what is wrong with my intern, or—" Dr. Bailey hissed, her voice rising.

"Please, keep your voice down." Addison begged. "She just fell asleep."

"Addison?" A small voice from behind them spoke.

Addison whirled around to face Izzie. She was awake, but she looked scared and confused.

"Heyyy, feeling better?" Addison sat down on the bed.

"Not really. I feel drained and tired. Is he still here?" Izzie questioned.

"He?" Dr. Bailey piped up from behind both women, causing Izzie to jump. She hadn't seen Dr. Bailey standing there.

Izzie looked up at Addison with worried eyes. Addison knew she didn't want anyone knowing.

"Dr. Bailey, please. I need a minute alone with Dr. Montgomery and then I promise I will tell you what's going on." Izzie pleaded, looking at Dr. Bailey.

Dr. Bailey could see she wasn't going to get anywhere with her begging and demanding, so she hung her head, left, and closed the curtain behind her.

Once Addison was sure she was gone, she grabbed Izzie's hand. "He's supposed to be coming out of surgery in half an hour."

Izzie groaned. "I can't be here."

"Look I know you probably want to go home, crawl into bed, and never come out, but you do know that you have to call the police and give them a statement." Addison said gently.

"I can't, Addison. I can't have the whole hospital knowing."

"Izzie, please. Don't you want him behind bars?"

"I do, but not at the expense of my job, my sanity, and my dignity."

Addison didn't reply for a moment.

"What if the reason he's here in the first place is because he attacked another woman and she fought back? Wouldn't you want to prevent that from happening again?"

Izzie fell silent as she took in Addison's words. "You're right." She said after a moment. Will you call them please?"

"Of course." Addison smiled, glad that Izzie was going to talk to the police.

Izzie sighed shakily and stood up. "I guess I have to tell Dr. Bailey now.

Addison reached out and put a hand on Izzie's arm. "You don't have to, if you don't want to. She can't do anything if you don't tell her."

"I know, but I might as well. The entire hospital is going to know soon, anyways. Might as well start with the Nazi." Izzie whispered.

Addison laughed, causing Izzie to grin along with her. It was very clear that Izzie was going to need counseling to overcome the affects of what she had been through, but at least she was smiling for the time being. Addison admired the intern, in a way. She admired the fact that she was able to call the police after she had just seen her rapist in the place where she spent most of her day, and sat wrapped in an attending's arms crying hysterically.

"Go talk to Bailey while I make the call. I'll come find you when the police arrive, okay?" Addison said.

"Okay. And thank you, Addison. I really don't know what I would have done if you weren't there in that O.R." Izzie replied.

"I'm glad I could help." Addison smiled. "Now go. Find Dr. Bailey."

* * *

"Dr. Bailey." Izzie called, causing Dr. Bailey to look up. She was sitting in a chair in the lobby of the hospital. It has taken Izzie a good 10 minutes to find the resident. 

"Dr. Stevens. It's about time. I just want you to know that I don't appreciate all this secrecy, especially involving an attending and my intern." She rambled on. "Next time, maybe you should keep your problems at home. Dr. Burke is—"

"Dr. Bailey, please." Izzie begged, cutting her resident off. "I understand if I caused problems in the O.R today, but I was raped. And my rapist was the man we were operating on."

Dr. Bailey's eyes went wide as she took in the interns words. "When did this happen Izzie?"

Izzie sighed and lifted her head and looked at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay.

_Not again, damn it_. She thought, brushing away a stray tear.

"Six days ago, in the parking lot of Joe's."

Dr. Bailey's face softened and she took a step forward. She rubbed Izzie's arm. "I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

"It's okay." Izzie whispered.

"Have you spoken to the police yet?"

"Dr. Montgomery is calling them for me right now." She replied. "But please Dr. Bailey I can't have anyone knowing."

"Of course." Bailey nodded. "Well, I'll uh, leave you alone." She started to leave.

Izzie nodded and watched her resident make her way towards the elevator.

Izzie let out a shaky sigh and plopped down in the chair that Bailey was previously occupying. She dropped her head in her hands, glad to have a minute to herself.

* * *

The sound of her pager going off in her pocket awoke Izzie from an uncomfortable sleep in the lobby chair. Her eyes popped open and she fished around until she found the source of the obnoxious noise. 

The page was from Addison and it said to meet her at the nurse's station on the first floor as soon as she could because the police had arrived.

Izzie scanned the various nurses stations in front of her and spotted Addison entering through the double doors, a duo of police trailing closely on her heel.

Izzie swallowed against the rather large lump growing in her throat and stood up.

Striding with purpose, she made her way to where Addison and the police stood waiting patiently.

"Dr. Montgomery." Izzie nodded her head as the redhead spun around to face her.

"Dr. Stevens. I'll be in the NICU if you need me." And with that, Addison spun on her heel, leaving Izzie with the police.

Izzie couldn't help feeling helpless now that she was alone with them. She watched Addison's form get smaller and smaller as she headed towards the elevators.

The female officer held out her hand for Izzie to take. "I'm Officer Sydney Page, and this is my partner Officer Nathan Reyes."

Izzie clasped her hand. "Izzie Stevens."

Officer Page smiled warmly at Izzie, automatically making her feel more at ease with them.

Officer Reyes shook Izzie's hand and nodded a silent greeting.

"Now what can we help you with tonight?" Officer Page questioned. "Your friend, Dr. Montgomery, was the one who called and she mentioned something about an attack. I assume she was calling for you?"

Izzie nodded. "I asked her to call while I spoke to a colleague. I was raped."

"How long ago?"

"Six days ago."

Officer Reyes stepped forward. "Why don't we take this somewhere more private?"

Izzie glanced around her and could see a swarm of nurses, interns, and the occasional attending begin to form. Fear gripped Izzie's heart and she nodded.

"We can talk in Dr. Richard Webber's office. Follow me."

After an uncomfortable elevator ride later, Izzie and the officers were seated in the chief of surgery's empty office.

"Why don't we finish?" Officer Reyes began.

"Of course."

"Why did you wait so long to report the rape?"

"I was scared. He threatened me. He said he would hurt my friends if I told anyone. And I didn't want people at the hospital to know. Our hospital has a grapevine longer than you would imagine. If one person found out, the entire hospital staff would know within hours. And, I thought I could handle it on my own. And I was doing fine until one of my surgical patients turned out to be my rapist."

Izzie swallowed and noticed both officers writing furiously on pads of paper in their laps.

"We understand." Officer Page held up a hand before Izzie could continue. "I know this might be difficult but we're going to need you to tell us exactly what happened that night. Anything you can remember."

Izzie shut her eyes tightly. This would be the first time she had fully spoken of the attack, and she wasn't ready in the least.

"Do you think I could have someone in here with me?" She questioned.

The officers glanced at each other before Officer Page nodded. "One person. And make it quick."

Izzie jumped up and retrieved the phone from its cradle by Richards's desk. She phoned down to the main nurse's station, and 5 minutes later, Addison was breathlessly pushing open the door to Richard's office and shaking hands with the officers.

Both officers noticed that Izzie had visibly relaxed once Dr. Montgomery had good hold of her hand was seated next to her. They wondered what their relationship was, but didn't say anything.

"Doctors…may we continue?"

Izzie nodded.

"Okay, we need you to tell us anything you can remember." Officer Reyes explained again.

Izzie sighed. "Okay, well six days ago I had just finished my shift and one last surgery, so I headed to Joe's bar. I got out of my car and a man came up to me. He shoved me against the wall, and pulled out a gun." Izzie's voice cracked at this point, and she struggled to keep her tears from falling.

Addison rubbed her hand soothingly.

"Then what happened?" Officer Page questioned.

"He told me to get on the floor. I did. I didn't want him to shoot me. He, um, he took off his pants and climbed on top of me. I knew at that point he was going to rape me."

Izzie laughed bitterly at the memory.

"Please continue, Dr. Stevens." Officer Page gently prodded.

"Well I cried as he raped me. He held the gun to my head the entire time. I didn't move or try to fight back because of that damn gun to my head. I could see my friends inside the bar, drinking, and that was all I wanted to be doing. But I was being raped instead."

Izzie was full on crying now. She could taste the bitter taste of her tears as they trickled into her mouth. Addison's heart ached for the young girl and she squeezed her hand tighter.

"And then, he was, he was finally done. He uh, crawled off of me." She stuttered. "I'm sorry, this is just really difficult."

The officers didn't reply. They let Izzie try to gather her wits and her tears.

Addison let go of Izzie's hand and put her hand on her cheek. "You can do this, Stevens. You've been through so much, and this is hopefully the end. Just finish this and then I'll take you home."

Izzie looked up and struggled to catch her breathe. She wiped her cheeks with her sleeve.

"You ready?" Officer Page tried to smile at her.

"Yeah. And after he crawled off of me, he pulled up his pants and finally removed that gun from my head. He said he swore he could find me if he wanted to, and that I better not say anything to anyone or he would hurt my friends. He bent down to kiss me and I remember biting my lip to keep from slapping him. I can still smell the cigarettes and beer on his breathe. And then he got into his van and left me there in my ripped and dirty clothes."

Izzie stopped and stood up. She walked to the large window in the office and stared out it, while Addison spoke quietly with the officers.

"Izzie?" Addison called to her, causing her to turn around. "They just need a couple more details and then we can go."

Izzie sighed. She returned to her seat and looked expectantly at the officers. They questioned her about specific details, including about the van he had gotten out of that had "Baker incorporated" painted across the side, and what he looked like, and specific times, and other various details that could help. Izzie explained that she was a hundred percent sure he was in their hospital at the very moment, probably in recovery.

"Thank you Dr. Stevens. Dr. Montgomery." Officer Page stuck out her hand for Izzie to take. "We'll investigate a little bit more, run a couple checks back at the station, look for witnesses. We will most definitely be in touch."

"You say that Mr. Nicholas Baker is here at the hospital… we will look into that and get back to you within 24 hours. Have a nice night."

Izzie shook both Officers' hands and told them thanks and goodnight. She accepted both their business cards and watched as Addison showed them out, and towards the elevators.

Izzie was seated in the same chair when Addison returned. Addison rested a hand on her shoulder, causing Izzie to look up and flinch.

"Hey." She looked her in the eye. "You okay?"

"What do you think?" Izzie laughed bitterly.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But you did great. They'll get him, Iz. He'll be in jail before you know it." Addison assured her.

Izzie suddenly opened her arms and pulled Addison in for a hug. Surprised, Addison returned the hug and let the intern cry into her shoulder, sobs wracking both their bodies.

"What do you say I take you home?" Addison whispered in her ear.

"Okay." Izzie sniffled, pulling away. "Let me grab my stuff from my locker." She wiped at her face. "I'll meet you in the lobby?"

"Perfect."

As Izzie made her way to the locker rooms, Addison's pager went off. She groaned.

"Seriously?"

Her heart jumped when she read what the screen said. Nicholas Baker was alive and expected to make a full recovery.

* * *

A/N: That was such a fun chapter to write, and definitely the longest chapter I have ever written. Next update to come as quickly as I can write it. Please read and review; it keeps me writing. Thanks for reading. 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: It's been a while, I know. But after a plea from a couple readers of mine, they begged that I update this story, so I figured I would get on it. I hope there are still faithful readers out there who are reading this fic and enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. As always, read and review!

Disclaimer: I still own nothing except Nicholas Baker.

* * *

Last time:

As Izzie made her way to the locker rooms, Addison's pager went off. She groaned.

"Seriously?"

Her heart jumped when she read what the screen said. Nicholas Baker was alive and expected to make a full recovery.

* * *

Addison bit her lip and pocketed her pager. She would eventually have to tell Izzie, but now was certainly not the time. The only thing that Addison had to do was make sure Izzie made it home safely.

She locked up Richard's office and began to make her way to the lobby at the front of the hospital.

When she reached the lobby she saw Izzie waiting patiently for her in one of the seats. She was gazing out the window, clearly entranced with the falling rain.

"You ready?" Addison put a hand on her shoulder.

Izzie flinched and looked up. "Sorry. And yeah, let's go."

"What about my car?" Izzie questioned as the pair stepped outside into the pouring rain.

"One of your friends can drive it home or you can pick it up tomorrow. I'm driving you home now." Addison replied.

Izzie nodded and they walked in silence until they reached Addison's flashy red convertible.

"Didn't think I'd ever be getting into _this_ car…" Izzie mumbled.

Addison laughed. "What? You never thought you'd go for a ride in Satan's car, did ya?"

"Nope. Can't say I did." Izzie replied.

Addison unlocked the door and both women slid into the plush interior of the car. Addison started the car and Izzie noted the digital clock read 12:56.

"It's late." Izzie muttered.

"Yeah, you hungry?" Addison questioned, putting the vehicle in drive. "We can stop somewhere."

"I'm fine. I just want to go home."

"Home it is then." Addison nodded.

Addison drove in silence until she couldn't stand it anymore. She flicked on the radio and turned to Izzie.

"You can put it on whatever you want."

Izzie shrugged. "I'm good. You choose."

"Okay" Addison sighed. She turned the dial until she found the soft Jazz station she usually listened to.

The gentle music had a calming affect on Izzie and it took a great deal not to fall asleep during the 15 minute car ride.

Izzie did let her eyes close though, and she rested her forehead on the cool glass of the window, until Addison put the car into park and announced they were at Meredith's house.

Izzie opened her eyes. She surveyed the house before them and could see that she was the first one home. While she wasn't in the mood to have any company, she also wasn't keen on being home alone after all she had been through.

An awkward silence followed until Izzie turned to Addison.

"Thanks for the ride. Do you, uh, maybe think you could come in?" Izzie stammered. "I just don't want to be alone, you know, after the whole, thing and everything…"

"Of course." Addison immediately replied. She pulled the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the car into the cool night air. The rain had stopped but had left a thick, eerie fog that hung over the house and the two women as they walked up to the front door.

Izzie unlocked the front door and entered the house, followed closely by Addison. Izzie flicked on any immediate light switches in her path, until the house was illuminated and it's usually homey feeling began to return.

"I'm gunna make some tea. You want anything?" Izzie questioned.

"Coffee would be fabulous, thanks."

Addison took in the many pictures that littered the counters in the house as she followed Izzie to the kitchen. It was weird, for Addison, to be in Meredith Grey's house.

Addison took a seat one of the chairs that circled the kitchen counter while Izzie set to work on the beverages.

"Izzie, there's something you should know…" Addison began.

Izzie sighed. "He's alive isn't he?"

Addison bit her lip and nodded. "He's in the intensive care unit, expected to make a full recovery. I didn't want to keep it from you."

"I'm the reason he's alive." Izzie whispered.

"You can't blame yourself." Addison reprimanded. "You were doing your job. There was no way you could have known."

"It doesn't matter." Izzie argued.

She was angry at herself, and tears of frustration filled her eyes, and threatened to spill over.

"Yes. It does." Addison stood up. "Please, Izzie, don't blame yourself."

"Well what in the hell do you want me to…" Izzie's voice cracked and the tears began to fall. She dropped the teabag she was holding and fell against the counter.

"Whoa, take it easy." Addison put her arms under Izzie's and lifted her up.

Silent sobs wracked Izzie's body for the 3rd time that day, and for the 2nd time that day, Addison wrapped her arms around the young intern.

"Let it out." Addison whispered gently in her ear. "It's okay to cry."

Addison figured that this was the best way to help. To stand by her and to let her cry when she needed to. Addison made a mental note to talk to Sydney Herron privately the next time she had the chance.

"I feel like such an idiot." Izzie cried. "Everything is just…messed up. I'm angry, I'm confused, and I hate this crying. And I wish I hadn't been in charge of those damn paddles. I just…I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to live with this."

"I know." Addison replied. "I know you do. But we're going to fix everything, somehow. But for now, let's forget the tea and get you to bed. Today's been rough."

And with Izzie holding on Addison, slowly, together, they climbed the stairs.

* * *

"Dr. Bailey!" Meredith rushed out of the scrub room, trailed closely by George. They had just finished Mr. Baker's surgery and wheeled him into the ICU.

"What is it?" Bailey snapped, whirling around to face her interns.

"What's wrong with Izzie?" George jumped in, demanding.

"Excuse me O'Malley; I don't think you get to talk to me like that. If I remember correctly you are an intern; my intern—"

George cut her off. "Please, Dr. Bailey. Please. Everyone is keeping this huge secret about Izzie from the people that love her the most, and quite frankly its starting to scare us. Please tell us what's wrong."

Dr. Bailey softened upon seeing George's worried eyes and Meredith's knit brow. "Look, I know you two are worried and that's understandable. But I cannot tell you what's wrong. She swore me to secrecy."

George threw up his hands, exasperated. "Then what the hell are we supposed to do? Sit around and wait?"

"Exactly." Dr. Bailey responded. "I can tell you that she is in good hands though. And when the time is right, she will tell you what is wrong. But for everyone's sake, especially hers, it might be better that when you go home tonight, you leave her alone."

"She's in good hands? What does that mean? Is she hurt?" Meredith fired questions at Dr. Bailey.

She held up a hand to stop the babbling intern. "She is with Dr. Montgomery. That is the end of this discussion. Return to work. If I remember correctly, you two are on-call tonight."

And with that, Dr. Bailey spun on her heel and walked off in the other direction, leaving the two confused and worried interns to their thoughts.

* * *

After Addison had watched Izzie crawl into bed, and Izzie made her promise to stay in the house at least until George or Meredith returned in the morning, she shut off her bedroom light and closed the door.

Addison took a seat on the couch in front of the TV and turned the set on. Her mind wasn't on the talking box in front of her though, it was on Izzie Stevens.

She thought of the relationship she had built with Izzie over her extreme unfortunate circumstances. It was a different kind of relationship because when Izzie was upset she allowed Addison to comfort her, but when Izzie wasn't upset or needing someone to talk to, it seemed that Izzie stayed away from her.

Addison was okay with it though; at least Izzie had told someone and she wasn't still holding it in.

Izzie remained asleep through the night, and Addison didn't remember falling asleep on the couch, but when George and Meredith returned home together around 5 a.m., Addison awoke with a start.

She quickly gathered her things as Meredith watched in awe at the sight in front of her. Dr. Montgomery was asleep on her couch. Dr. Addison Montgomery was sleeping on her couch.

"Don't ask." Addison grumbled. "Izzie's asleep. Make sure to check on her if she isn't up soon." And with that, she was gone, backing down the driveway before George and Meredith could pick their jaws up off the floor.

* * *

A/N: So that was actually shorter than I had originally planned. I had originally planned on adding the next day at the hospital in and when the police return with news on the case, but I figured this was also a good place to stop before adding on all the technical stuff. And also, I hope everyone notices that Izzie is very jumpy with her feelings, meaning: one minute she's talking, one minute she appears happy, one minute she's withdrawn, and another minute she's sobbing in Addison's arms. This isn't just me not knowing the character; this is me writing the way I would think Izzie would deal with the after affects of a rape. I hope you guys understand and see it too. Please review if you took the time to read! Thanks. 


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